3 Ways to Help Students Stay In Church After Graduation

A few years ago, my boss asked me a terribly uncomfortable question. He said:

“What percentage of our graduated students are plugged into a church?”

I had no answer for him. I literally didn’t know. He then gave me the marching orders that would revolutionize the way I approached student ministry:

“That’s not good enough! You need to figure it out!”

He was and still is right. It’s no secret that many American teenagers graduate from our student ministries and churches and then slip out of the Church. Some come back after they are married and have kids and others never return. This reality haunts me and I’m guessing it bothers you as well.

Do we just throw our hands in the air and bemoan the decline of Christian values in our country? Do we just shrug as we watch our students walk away? No way!

In fact, I believe that this trend is reversible.

I have come to believe that three shifts in the way we interact with students in our churches can dramatically alter this trend in your church. Here they are.

1. Mentors

I have come to believe that the single greatest attraction in our student ministry is not amazing worship with highly skilled musicians, programmed light shows and fog machines.

It’s not the incredibly good looking and engaging teacher (that would be me). It’s not the insanely fun games that we play or the hilariously funny videos we make.

It’s not the astronomically cool student center (we don’t even have a student center).

No, it’s none of these things.

The truth is that we can’t compete with culture in any of these areas. Our students can find better music, videos, environments and communicators all over the place because of their access to the Internet.

However, we can offer them something that they typically can’t find anywhere else. Something that they crave and long for. Something that is incredibly magnetic.

What is it? It’s adults who want to hang out with them, listen to them, share life and walk with them. I’m talking about mentors.

Listen, this may sound counter-intuitive but providing kids with mentors is an absolute game-changer. It’s incredibly attractive and magnetic.

Why?

Because students need adults to tell them they are ok and show them how to live but everywhere students look, adults are too busy, too unhealthy, too insecure, too immature, and too engrossed in their own lives.

Nothing keeps students in church more powerfully than adults who care about them. My advice would be to build your church’s student ministry around small groups and/or adult mentors. We’ve found that students who are connected to a caring adult mentor are much more likely to stay engaged with church after graduating from high school.

2. Serving

We have found that the more a student is engaged in the overall life of the church, rather than just the student ministry, the more likely they are to stay engaged with church after graduating from high school.

For this reason, one of our primary focuses for our teenagers is serving in our church, particularly in our children’s ministry.

I think this is powerful for a few reasons.

First, students who are serving discover that they are gifted and useful to the church now. They don’t have to wait until they grow up to serve and lead. They can do it now.

Secondly, students who serve in our church at large, rather than our student ministry, spend more time around adults in the church and feel more like they are part of the church rather than just the student ministry.

Thirdly, teenagers can be a catalyst of energy and passion. I have observed the energy of teenagers infusing the adults they are serving alongside. Their passion is contagious. It’s better for everyone when teenagers are serving in the church.

Students who graduate from high school who have been serving in the church as a whole feel like they are part of the church as a whole and are much more likely to stay engaged with the church after leaving the student ministry.

3. Adult Services

Alright, here’s the difficult one for some churches. In my experience, and according to the research I’ve read, one of the biggest factors in retaining students after they graduate is attending adult worship services.

In other words, students who attend student worship services but not adult worship services are far more likely to drop out of church.

Why?

Well, the main reason is that they have been identifying with the student ministry but not the church. They feel like they belong with their fellow students and worship pastor but like a foreigner in the adult services and so they bail.

So, here’s the challenging truth that I’ve come to. We should all do whatever needs to be done so that our high school students attend adult worship services.

This might mean changing a few elements in the worship services. It might mean inviting high school students to serve as ushers or worship leaders in adult services. Most of all, it probably means that you need to cut the high school worship service that happens at the same time as your adult worship service.

For many students, moving from youth group to "big church" feels like jumping over a canyon. It’s just so different.

In order to keep students engaged, we have to bridge that gap and help students belong to the church as a whole long before they are forced to choose it.

Wrap Up

So yes, across the nation, many Christian students are leaving youth group and never returning to church.

Maybe you feel this reality in your own church. All is not lost! There are some things we can do. In my experience, these three changes will yield to drastically different results.

And please don’t get overwhelmed by the magnitude of the issue or the scope of the changes needed. Instead, if changes need to be made, choose one and run with it. Then, in time, go after the others.

Perhaps you’ve discovered other practices that have helped retain students. If so, we’d love to hear about them. Let us know about your ideas in the comments below.