4 Reasons Why People Leave Your Church

I hate it when people leave my church. It just feels like someone broke up with me or decided they didn’t want to be in the family anymore. Maybe you can relate.

Sometimes people leave for good reasons. Sometimes for sad reasons. And, sometimes there are reasons we should learn from.  

I want to talk about why people walk away from your church and what you can actually do about it, including improving specific areas of ministry.

Reason #1: Kids

In my experience, one of the most common reasons people stay connected to church is their kids. Over the years, many families have begun attending our church because their kids got involved in our children’s or student ministry. Kids often drag their parents to church. Or, if a family is committed to attending church but their kids aren’t having a good experience, they will find a church where their kids will have a good experience. 

If you are a parent, you know that there is probably nothing that you care about more than the well-being of your kids, particularly their spiritual well-being. The Scriptures are very clear about the call of parents to pass on faith to the next generation. 

If you want to attract and retain more families, invest in next gen ministries. This is a foundational piece of a strong church. 

‍Reason #2: Connection

Another reason people leave, especially in larger churches is that they just don’t feel connected. It’s hard to follow any of the “one anothers” from the New Testament when you aren’t in relationship.

Our culture is incredibly lonely. People are hungry for meaningful connection. How is your church creating that connection? How are you facilitating deep relationships?  

In our church, we attempt to get at this through small groups. Other churches use different strategies, but the point is that people who feel connected will likely stick around and people who don’t will eventually leave.   

Reason #3: Graduation

There are critical stages of life where people often drift from their church. One of the most significant is graduation. Some of this is natural because when a student leaves to attend a college across the country they will obviously not continue to attend your church. But what about the graduates who stick around your area? Do they stay at your church? 

The first 15 years of my ministry career were in student ministry. I saw firsthand how many students walked away from my church after graduating. Thankfully, many of them attended other churches, but many more just drifted away.

Often, graduates drift from church because they were very connected to their youth group and barely connected to their church. How can you create stronger connections to your church as a whole for kids in high school? 

Secondly, graduates often drift from church because there is not a compelling ministry for them post-high school. Does your church have ministry targeted toward young adults? 

Reason #4: Preaching

I’ve saved the most common reason people leave churches for last. 

For most of your attenders, the weekend sermon is the most significant interaction they have with your church. People often try out a different church because of the preaching. Because of this, one of the most important things you can do is invest in preaching at your church.

If you are a lead pastor, my encouragement to you would be to make the weekend sermon your highest priority in terms of your time and energy investment on a weekly basis. Obviously, it can’t be your only priority; you have a lot of responsibilities to juggle. But don’t neglect preaching. In fact, invest in it. 

If you want to grow in your preaching, here are a few ideas:  

• Invest more time in preaching prep and practice. For me, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday mornings are exclusively devoted to preaching prep.
• Consider hiring a preaching coach for a season. 
• Ask one of the best preachers in your area to meet with you and learn about their methodology.
• Invite 4 or 5 people that you trust in your church to share feedback with you about your sermons. I do this twice every week. I read my first draft to a group of people on Tuesday afternoon and I read my second draft to a group of people on Thursday afternoon. 
• Start listening to some of the best preachers in the country and pay attention to how they are preaching. 
• Listen to the Craft and Character podcast with Steve Carter and see what you learn. 

I sincerely hope this post has been helpful in encouraging and challenging you and your church to invest in some critical areas of your church.