How to Stay out of Trouble with your Boss and Board in Ministry

We all have a boss. Maybe it’s your supervising manager. Maybe it’s your Senior Pastor. Maybe it’s your elder board...maybe it’s your wife! 

This post is all about staying out of trouble with your boss and your board. In this post I’ll share a few hard learned lessons from my ministry experience that may help you avoid trouble. 

Under Promise and Over Deliver

Here’s a principle I try to live by in all of life, but especially when it comes to people in authority over me. Always seek to under promise and over deliver on results. The reason is that unmet expectations are troublesome, both in relationships and in work. 

One of the easiest ways to disappoint your boss or board is to miss the target and not produce what you said you would. It’s always a better strategy to undersell what you think you’ll be able to deliver and then surprise them with better than expected results.  

This can be challenging if you are an optimistic person. Let that optimism fuel your confidence and drive to achieve, but don’t let it trick you into setting unrealistic goals that you are held accountable for. 

Be Accurate

This might seem like a minor thing, but when it comes to your relationship with your boss or board, accuracy is huge. If you report that 300 people showed up but in reality only 270 showed up, round down. Just say 270. Be accurate. If she said she disagrees with your idea, don’t say she hated your idea. Why? Because accuracy builds trust. 

Leadership is all about trust. When I’m looking for someone to lead alongside me in ministry, one of the highest values a person can bring is accuracy. Do they accurately represent other people’s words? Do they accurately represent situations? Do they accurately represent the significance of an issue or problem? If a problem is a 4 out of 10, do they add energy and make it feel like an 8 out of 10?  

This might not seem like a big deal, but it really is.  In leadership you are often short on time and are required to make quick decisions with significant impact and consequences often based on the recommendation of other leaders and if those other leaders aren’t providing accurate information, well that’s a problem. 

If, over time, you demonstrate the ability to be accurate, even when the accurate truth doesn’t make you look good, you will greatly improve your chances of staying out of trouble with your boss and board. 

Never, Ever Surprise 

Let me share a scenario that will get you in trouble with your boss or board. A member of your congregation calls your boss with a complaint about something that happened at a youth group last night. Your boss doesn’t know anything about what happened at the youth group last night and is forced to scramble to respond. 

This is bad for you every time. Never, ever let your boss or board be surprised with significant information—good or bad. Always give them a heads up. This simple statement  will save you so much grief:  

“Hey, I just need to let you know about something that happened.”

And, this isn’t just about bad stuff. If your boss knows that your children’s ministry intern did a great job planning an event, it gives him or her an opportunity to make a connection and encourage. 

When it comes to bosses and boards, surprises are bad. Never, ever let them be surprised with significant information. 

Wet Cement

This last idea is related. Let me tell you that this one has landed me in hot water more times than I can remember. Here’s the thing, your boss and your board have final authority over your decisions. And, there will be times that for whatever reason, they will disagree with something you want to do. 

How many times have you had to tell a co-worker or volunteer, “Sigh…they won’t let us do it.”  When that happens, who is the villain?  It’s “they,” as in your boss or your board. 

Don’t do that. 

It erodes trust with leadership and paints your boss or board as the villain. People who were excited about an idea are now disappointed in your boss or board. “They just don’t get it.” 

It is so much better to pull your boss or board into the idea or conversation while the decision is still in flux, in other words, while it is still wet cement.  Let them speak into the idea before significant movement has taken place. That way, if they need to redirect, shift something, or even say “no,” there is no damage done. 

Here’s a phrase I often use with my boss:

“Hey, I want to pull you into an idea while it is still wet cement.” 

Now, your boss will feel like you value their input, that they have a voice, and that they can speak their mind without doing damage. 

Wrap Up 

Your boss, and your board, whether you love them or struggle with them, are a significant part of your ministry role. There is an unhealthy way to relate to them and a healthy way to relate to them. You want to stay out of trouble with them!  In next week’s post, I’ll share some thoughts on how to not only stay out of trouble, but win with your boss and board.