How to thrive as a church leader and bring others around you

In my last post I shared a few strategies for staying out of trouble with your boss and board. But, let’s be real, you don’t just want to survive, you want to thrive. You want to win with your boss and board. So, let’s talk about proven strategies that will help you win.

Win Together 

Here’s a secret: If your boss or board believes you are helping them win, you really can’t lose. 

The key is to align your goals with their goals. The truth is that you only really win when they also win. If your goals don’t help your boss or board achieve their goals, there is a problem. You’re running in the wrong direction. 

Here’s a simple question to ask your boss in your next one-on-one:  What can I do to help you win? Make sure that your goals are aligned with their goals. Win together.

Define the Win 

How many points do you need to win the game? 

I’m a beach volleyball player. Ok. Let me be more accurate. I used to be a beach volleyball player. In a standard beach volleyball game, you need 21 points to win the game. 

What would happen if you didn’t know how points were needed to win? How awkward would it be if you started celebrating victory at 18 points?  Or, what if you just gave up when you were down 15-13? 

It’s all about having clear expectations about winning. Define the win. One of the smartest things you can do is ask your boss or board what winning looks like. Get very specific. Ask them, 

“What does success look like for me, in this role?”

If your boss or board doesn’t provide a clear answer, keep digging until you get one. Define the win and then get after it!  It’s hard to argue with wins. 

Invite them to Help You Win 

Teachability is one of the most important traits in leadership. If you demonstrate a willingness to receive and implement feedback, the potential for winning is huge. Conversely, if you deflect or blame when receiving criticism, you will quickly find yourself on your boss or board’s bad side. 

One of the wisest things you can do with your boss or board is to invite feedback.  Here’s a great question to ask, 

“Where am I doing well and where am I missing the mark?”  

Again, this builds trust.  If your boss or board feel that they can shape your development, you are well on your way to winning.  

Help Them Win with Others

The last idea I have is to help your boss or board win with others. The easiest way to do this is to always speak respectively about your boss or board to others. You’ve probably heard the adage, “criticize privately and praise publicly.” Particularly when it comes to your boss, this is absolutely true. 

Let’s be real, this is a challenge. Why? Because even the best bosses and boards will frustrate you from time to time. Where do you go with that frustration?  If you express it to co-workers or members of the congregation, you are creating trouble. You are definitely not helping your boss or board win, and you are not helping yourself win. 

Find safe and appropriate places to process your frustrations, but never, ever criticize your boss or board publicly. This is probably the quickest path to serious trouble with your boss or board. 

Even in disagreement, there are always ways to speak respectively and in support of your boss or board. This is the path to winning. 

Wrap Up

I hope this post has been helpful in giving you a few ideas and strategies for winning with your boss and board.